She lay on the sofa in the morning, had back pain, headache and moaned.
It felt like she didn't care anymore.
Her girlfriend had quit, love was gone, and so was the money.
Everything went differently than expected.
The new apartment she had in mind was suddenly completely irrelevant.
It feels like saying goodbye to life.
Now a schnapps again in the morning Would that be the right solutiong?
Plus an orange with lots of vitamins and sex appeal A spark of hope like an oral highlight in the loneliness number herer?
She wobbled through her cell phone video clips in the news feed on Instagram, with longing and envy with anger, hate and remorse.
Then she got up to go outside.
She left the house with groans and displeasure -
shuffles to the car, gets in and drives off.
Like a ride out of your own hell, out of the self entanglement of all feelings about never possible dreams that shattered leaving only a sea of disappointments and hopelessness.
She had a great desire to simply call out to the next best thing that came her way: I hate you just to get rid of this feeling and to defecate.n.
She had a vague anger and hatred for someone that she couldn't really verify. All she knew was that if you were others, it would have been the same, that you would suddenly become hateful.
So she drives up the driveway and turns into the main street.
As soon as you leave the place, the air seems to improve.
It somehow becomes thinner and freer. She accelerates and drives a few kilometers away from her dwelling.
Then you arrive in the neighboring town. Get out and go to the bakery.
Her greeting today is bored and shorter than usual, but she tries to hide her true feelings.
She orders the newspaper, a coffee and a sandwich.
When paying, she pulls off a little joke: she puts 20 euros on the counter and says to the cashier: 20 million for you and 4 million for meh“
We both laugh and suddenly a good mood is in sight again.
There are more guests and two who are sitting in the coffee and sipping a coffee at the snack.
There are two craftsmen. I almost get a boner seeing their outfit, stocked with tools and a tape measure sticking out of the pocket. Real guys, the kind who know how things work.
I grab my groceries and crawl out the back door.
Actually, I would have liked to have stayed longer because it was nicer with you than with me alone before, but who knows who else will turn up and chatter in order to prevent even the last bit of luck.
So, as usual, I open the door and leave.
My car is parked outside. I'm a little proud to have this one here now. I climb in and when I get inside, I take a hearty bite of my sandwich. It's a bun with a meatball and mayonnaise. It feels like a naughty bun, like eating ground beef in a bun with mayonnaise and lettuce and pickles is a little wicked now, but it feels incredibly good in every bite.
A man is standing in front of me at the ATM, getting cash. He grins at me briefly and I'm happy that someone else is around while I'm so hungry for meat.
Then I drive up and away. I would now drive somewhere in the middle of nowhere, but instead I only drive to the quarry lake and stand there in the lonely parking lot to read the newspaper in the car.
The car suddenly becomes my living room -
Today the Bildzeitung is exactly my level. Big pictures, bold headlines. Thank God I can already be happy about others again and so the last page with the stars and starlets this time with the topic politicians and who was made up for how much budget 2022 is an amusing joy. I'm secretly happy about every euro that is spent there, and at the same time I'm satisfied that I've managed without it so far.
How much was spent on make-up at Merkel remains a secret. That is nice. The ex-Chancellor can still have secret bites, I find that kind of reassuring.
Then suddenly happy and satisfied and grateful again I drive back to my apartment. I almost have tears of joy in my eyes when I think back to the time before 1999 when Dagmar Berghoff was the announcer for the Tagesschau. Today she celebrates her 80th birthday.
I politely congratulate and pay great respect for 23 years with the Tagesschau and 80 years of lifetime achievement. When I was young, she always knew how to convey terrible news from all over the world in such a way that a little consolation was still possible. As if she were the mother of the nation, who then talks the children into good words before they go to bed. Nice idea to congratulate your birthday with nice memories of you via picture.
Thank you Bild, thank you Dagmar Berghoff and happy 80th birthday.